Thursday, November 19, 2009

Emerging of the new economy

INFOSYSism
You have a 1000 poor cows. You put them on a nice campus, & send them
one at a time to the US for milking.

WIPROism
GE has a cow. You take 49% of the milk.

SATYAMism
You have a cow. You have its milk. But don't know what to do with it!

DELLism
Intel has a Goat. Samsung has a Camel. Buy milk from both & sell it as
Cow's milk.

IBMism
You have old stubborn cows. You sell them as pet dogs to innocent
small businessmen.

MICROSOFTism
You have a cow. Force the world to buy milk from you. Spend a million
dollars to feed poorer cows.

SUNism
You have a bull. It doesn't give milk. You hate Microsoft.

ORACLEism
You have a cow. You don't know which side to milk, so you sell tools
to help milk cows.

SAPism
You don't have a cow You sell milking solutions for cows implemented
by milking consultants.

APPLEism
You have a cow. You sell iMilk.

SONYism
You have a cow. You spend $50 mn to develop the world's thinnest milk.

CITIBANKism
Welcome to Citibank. If you have a cow, press 1. If you have a bull,
press 2...stay on line if you'd like our customer care to milk it for
you.

HPism
You don't know if what you have is a cow. You sell complete milking
solutions through authorised resellers only.

GEism
You have a donkey. People think you have a 100-year old cow. If
someone finds out, that's his imagination at work.

RELIANCEism
You don't yet have a cow. You sell empty cans to people for Rs. 501,
because Dhirubhai wanted everyone to have milk.

TATAism
You have a very old cow. You re-brand it as TATA Indicow.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Sunday, October 25, 2009

How can a student pass?

It's not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year ONLY
has 365' days.

Typical academic year for a student:

1. Sundays-52, Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.
Days left 313.

2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.
Days left 263.

3. 8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE..
Days left 141.

4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days.
Days left 126.

5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing properly &
swallowing)-means 30days.
Days left 96.

6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days
Days left 81.

7. Exam days- per year at least 35 days.
Days left 46.

8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days.
Balance 6 days.

9. For sickness- at least 3 days.
Remaining days=3.

10. Movies and functions- at least 2 days.
1 day left.

11. That 1 day is your birthday.
How can you study on that day??????!!!!!!!!!!
Balance = 0

"How can a student pass ?????"

Couple Joke

A couple went to the sex therapists office at Hospital.

The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"

The man said, "Will you watch us having sex, for your expert analysis?"

The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.

When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with
the way you have intercourse," and charged them Rs.300.

This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an
Appointment, have intercourse with no problems, pay the doctor and
Then leave.

Finally the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"

The man said, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married
And we can't go to her house - I'm married and we can't go to my
house.

Cinnamon Grand (Hotel)charges Rs. 10,000, Taj(Hotel) charges
Rs.7,000,Galadari(Hotel) charges Rs.6000.

We do it here for Rs.300

and I get that back from Medical Claim ..............